{"id":880,"date":"2017-03-30T11:43:16","date_gmt":"2017-03-30T11:43:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/driventosurvive.wordpress.com\/?p=103"},"modified":"2018-09-23T20:44:09","modified_gmt":"2018-09-24T00:44:09","slug":"take-a-ride-on-the-reading","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/2017\/03\/30\/take-a-ride-on-the-reading\/","title":{"rendered":"Take a ride on the Reading"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Cancer takes things from you. \u00a0It has taken my inhibitions. \u00a0 That happens after being felt up and stared at by more doctors, nurses, medical assistants, techs, and med students than I can count. \u00a0Hopefully they were all hospital employees. \u00a0It has taken my taste buds. \u00a0I literally cover all my food in hot sauce and peppers just so I can taste it. \u00a0It tried to take my hair, but I got the last laugh when I realized that I actually like my mane super short. \u00a0HA!<\/p>\n<p>But I never thought it would take the activity that is nearest and dearest to my heart.<\/p>\n<p>You see, my friends, I cannot read.<\/p>\n<p>Clearly, I don&#8217;t mean that in a literal sense. \u00a0I still look at the page, and the collection of motley symbols crystallizes into prose like magic, and I am whisked away to far off places. \u00a0But I can&#8217;t make myself sit down and actually read the entire book. \u00a0I now careen through life with dozens of partially read books in my wake. \u00a0I used to devour books, now I sit down to read one and think, meh, maybe I&#8217;ll just watch a movie. \u00a0What???<\/p>\n<p>It is called chemo brain, and the struggle is very real.<\/p>\n<h6>According to MD Anderson Cancer Centers, some symptoms of chemo brain include:<\/h6>\n<ul style=\"box-sizing:inherit;color:#3a3a3a;margin-top:0;font-family:&quot;font-size:18px;letter-spacing:-.36px;background-color:#ffffff;\">\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Difficulty concentrating on a single task<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Problems with short-term memory; forgetting details of recent events<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Feeling mentally \u201cslower\u201d than usual<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Confusing dates and appointments<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Misplacing objects<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<li style=\"box-sizing:inherit;\">\n<h6>Fumbling for the right word or phrase<\/h6>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This last one is the reason you can find me standing in the middle of the kitchen frantically pointing at the stove, with no idea what the big hunk of metal is called.<\/p>\n<p>This lack of focus does not extend to my work life. \u00a0I hit the office and immerse myself in the fascinating world of numbers with an intensity I haven&#8217;t felt in years. \u00a0We tussle, we fight, sometimes there is foul language, but at the end of the day, I&#8217;ve solved the puzzle, and all is right with the world. My superpower? I create order out of numeric chaos. \u00a0I am Nancy Drew, charging around in my roadster looking for clues. \u00a0I am Hercule Poirot using my little grey cells to ferret out what is missing from the picture. \u00a0I am Kinsey Millhone, drinking cheap wine and piecing disparate bits of information into a patchwork quilt of problem solving.<\/p>\n<p>Just call me the numeric detective.<\/p>\n<p>What I am not anymore, however, is a reader. \u00a0I have tried books on tape, but I would frankly rather watch a movie. \u00a0Reading gives me a headache. \u00a0I also can&#8217;t remember what I have read by the next page, so I have to constantly re-read passages. \u00a0Words no longer flow like a peaceful river; instead it is like a slow moving bed of lava. \u00a0It hurts. Ever been stabbed in the back by your best friend? \u00a0Yes, it is that level of emotional pain.<\/p>\n<p>I am coming to terms with my limitations. \u00a0I find other ways to occupy my mind and combat the chemo brain. \u00a0My planner and a stack of notebooks accompany me everywhere. \u00a0My best buddy gave me a sudoku-a-day calendar that is my daily mind warmup. \u00a0I don&#8217;t blank out quite as often in the middle of sentences anymore. \u00a0I still hope to find that literary drive again. \u00a0To be a bookworm extraordinaire. An ultimate nerd.<\/p>\n<p>Or to quote Ms.Millhone &#8211;<\/p>\n<h6><span style=\"color:#181818;font-family:Merriweather, Georgia, &quot;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\">\u201cThere were pieces missing yet but they would fall into place and then maybe the whole of it would make sense.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><br style=\"color:#181818;font-family:Merriweather, Georgia, &quot;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\" \/><strong><span style=\"color:#181818;font-family:Merriweather, Georgia, &quot;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\">\u2015\u00a0<\/span><a class=\"authorOrTitle\" style=\"color:#333333;font-family:Lato, &quot;font-weight:bold;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/author\/show\/9559.Sue_Grafton\">Sue Grafton<\/a><span style=\"color:#181818;font-family:Merriweather, Georgia, &quot;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\">,\u00a0<\/span><span id=\"quote_book_link_64863\" style=\"color:#181818;font-family:Merriweather, Georgia, &quot;font-size:14px;background-color:#ffffff;\"><a class=\"authorOrTitle\" style=\"color:#333333;font-family:Lato, &quot;font-weight:bold;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/work\/quotes\/1299178\">A is for Alibi<\/a><\/span><\/strong><\/h6>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cancer takes things from you. \u00a0It has taken my inhibitions. \u00a0 That happens after being felt up and stared at by more doctors, nurses, medical assistants, techs, and med students than I can count. \u00a0Hopefully they were all hospital employees. \u00a0It has taken my taste buds. \u00a0I literally cover all\u2026 <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/2017\/03\/30\/take-a-ride-on-the-reading\/\">Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":810,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,11],"tags":[9,10,12,13,14,15],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/hat-2140279__340.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=880"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1069,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/880\/revisions\/1069"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/810"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=880"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=880"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=880"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}