{"id":378,"date":"2017-08-14T21:02:44","date_gmt":"2017-08-14T21:02:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/driventosurvive.wordpress.com\/?p=378"},"modified":"2018-09-23T20:44:08","modified_gmt":"2018-09-24T00:44:08","slug":"feel-the-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/2017\/08\/14\/feel-the-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Feel the pain"},"content":{"rendered":"

(This is the first installment of Shelley’s Shrugs. \u00a0These are the things that grind my gears about breast cancer.) \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

As I enter my second year of survivorhood, there is something troubling that I see more and more. \u00a0Simply stated, it is the perception that because we are cured, we are healthy and painfree. \u00a0Let’s pick that apart:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. No one can ever know if they are “cured”. \u00a0Let’s face it, there were microscopic cancer cells road tripping through my lymph system. \u00a0We can know there are no noticeable cancer globs forming at the moment, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t pesky little cells waiting for a friend to party. \u00a0I have survived, but I can never be sure if I’m cured.<\/li>\n
  2. Yes, I’m basically healthy. \u00a0I can do much of what I did prior to cancer diagnosis. \u00a0But I don’t do it with the same energy or strength. \u00a0And this means that I don’t just get tired. \u00a0It means that everyday around 5 pm or so, I hit a brick wall so hard that it leaves a mark. \u00a0It means that I sometimes need leverage to get out of a chair. \u00a0It means I go to bed at 8 pm, not because I expect to fall asleep (I usually read), but because I am physically too tired to hold myself up anymore.<\/li>\n
  3. Cancer free does not equate to painfree. \u00a0I have pain every day. \u00a0My feet hurt. \u00a0My arm and leg bones hurt. \u00a0My scars ache. \u00a0My back hurts. \u00a0My neck hurts. \u00a0When I overdo it, I start getting nerve pain shooting through my legs. \u00a0This is what they do not tell you before treatment – that you will experience the side effects of chemo and radiation for years, if not forever.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Which leads me to the part that grinds my gears. \u00a0I actually talked to someone the other day with concern for a family member who was taking painkillers three years after breast cancer treatment ended. \u00a0She felt that her relative was addicted to painkillers because, as she said, “She’s cancer-free, she can’t be in pain.”<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    CAN’T BE IN PAIN<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I’ve heard this a few times from doctors too, who told me that I couldn’t possibly be in pain. \u00a0That the discomfort I have can’t be related to treatment at this point. \u00a0Let’s see, I didn’t have bone pain before cancer, but I have it now. \u00a0Nope, can’t possibly be related. \u00a0It’s appalling. \u00a0No one should have to quantify how much pain they are in. \u00a0If you are not in their shoes, you have no idea what it may be like. \u00a0This is true for many other invisible conditions or disabilities, I know I am unfortunately not alone. \u00a0It’s time to stop the judging, and see what we can do constructively.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    In the case of the conversation above, I think the family needs to turn their thinking around. \u00a0Is the relative addicted to painkillers? \u00a0Possibly. \u00a0But it’s time to validate the fact that she IS in pain, and that needs to be addressed. \u00a0Her painkiller use is a symptom, and any intervention needs to be part of a pain prevention plan. \u00a0I don’t suggest this as a medical professional (I’m not), but as a patient who knows what it is like to be in so much pain that I can’t function. \u00a0I personally stay away from painkillers, but I am totally sympathetic to those who can’t resist their draw. \u00a0Let’s open our minds, and not judge someone else’s suffering.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    As for me, I don’t ask for sympathy – merely understanding. \u00a0Have patience with me when I can’t keep up. \u00a0More than anything, I want to do the normal things in life again. \u00a0It might just take a little longer. \u00a0Because I promise, cancer isn’t going to stop me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Why does everyone think we ever graduate from the grip of cancer? The first installment of “Shelley’s Shrugs” asks this question. Continue reading<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":393,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,4],"tags":[16,10,17,28,8,18,15,19,34],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/poses-female-education-posing-159708.jpeg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=378"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1062,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/378\/revisions\/1062"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=378"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=378"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driventosurvive.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=378"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}